I have been doing a lot of reading lately about the 'Peter Pan Generation', a group of 20-40 somethings who refuse to grow up. It has also been likened to a mature adolescence and can be looked at as a sad state of affairs.
Someone who is in the grips of Peter Pan doesn't dream of getting married, doesn't desperately want children, and also doesn't see going out and enjoying oneself as something that can only be done in your actual teens or on high days and holidays.
Some Peter Panners still live at home, but some have flown the nest and have their own places, be it rented or mortgaged. Some live alone, some with friends, some with partners. Peter Pan wannabes are male or female, and they are more common than you think. I know a few that had children young and have decided to reclaim their youth now that said children are older.
I think people need to think why an individual may be a Peter Pan Generation member. Maybe when they were actually young, a freedom of choice may not have been theirs. Maybe they had a bad experience and do not want to risk the same thing happening again. They may have seen marriages around them fail and believe that it is not worth the trauma. They may have the attitude "Been there, done that, I don't want another go on the merry-go-round." They may have just decided that it is not for them.
I personally think all of these reasons are justified, and that people who live this way don't need judgement or well meaning advice from others. We need to think, are we put on this planet solely to be wed, reproduce and find joy in early nights, earlier mornings and Disney movies? Are we freaks of nature if we don't hear the biological clock, or turn into a pile of goo when a wedding procession goes past. Are we crazy if, as is the case with some of us, we have done it once, and really don't want to do it again. I honestly don't think so.
Marriage is a huge responsibility, and also a legal binding contract that means going to solicitors and courts if you want out. A child is something that can never be taken lightly, and can never be given back if you change your mind. As well as bringing untold joy, there is also untold responsibility, risks, sacrifice and compromise that makes up the whole package. Someone who has decided that it isn't for them should not be subjected to peer pressure, or made to feel abnormal for not choosing that path.
It is not easy to go against the norm, and for some of us, it is more than a refusal to grow up. So if you do come across a Peter Pan Adult please don't treat them as if they are weirdos from another planet, because trust me, we are not! Most of us don't pass judgement on our 'married with children' counterparts, and all we want is for them to be happy, so please find it in your hearts do the same for us, because everyone deserves to be happy surely?
Ok must dash now, Tinkerbell is waiting for me and my fellow Panners. I'll be back from Neverland soon, when inspiration strikes!
Ciao.
Peace.
