Monday, 30 May 2011
Living alone in your thirties
As it says in the song "Independant Women pt 1" by Destinys Child, It isnt easy being independant, especially when really, it goes against the norm. I have had many people ask me if I get lonely, do I bother cooking decent meals as its just me, do I have issues with men. And in answer to these questions, No I dont get lonely at all as I work fulltime, and try to see family and friends as much as I can. Yes I do bother cooking decent meals for myself because I enjoy cooking and like to try different foods. And when it comes to men, yes maybe I do have issues, connected to my past, but is a relationship really the be all and end all? I know these people mean well, and they are concerned about me, but sometimes it can make me question if I am a freak of nature or something.
I've found that the beauty of living alone is that you can really get to know who you are, without the intrusions and opinions of others. For me, it has been a real confidence booster that I desperately needed. There is nothing like being your own boss and being surrounded by your own things. I leave my flat in the morning to go to work, knowing full well it will be exactly as I left it when I return in the evening. Its nice to be able to watch what I want on tv (which to be honest, is not a lot, as I hardly have it on) listen to my music, cook the foods I enjoy and buy the things I like without having to worry about the needs of others.
If I feel like it, I can spend all day in my Pyjamas, I can take as long as I want in the bath, hell I can walk around naked and there is no-one there to grumble at me for doing so.
Its nice to be able to invite friends round, as I am determined not to be typecast a "loner", and I like to see my place as a little social haven where music plays and the wine flows. I want the people I love to feel welcome to come round and see me, as my little pad isnt a shrine, or a cocoon for just me. Its my home, and I'd like to think its a reflection of me as a person.
So, if you come across me, or a woman like me, who lives alone, please dont think we are unfortunate souls who have had to do this out of circumstance, I have done my research, and most of us choose to live this way! We are happy, we are independant, we are free. We may have come out of failed marriages and relationships, Or we may just want to have our own space, rather than stay in the family nest for as long as possible. There are many resons why women choose to live alone, and they are very good reasons, so please dont judge us, oh and if we are single, please dont try to 'set us up' with others, unless it is what we want. But do feel free to come and visit us, bring some wine, and have a good gossip with us, because it would mean so much! I think that, no matter what you're status is, married, single, with partner, without partner, parent, childless, whatever, you need to have friends!