Wednesday, 14 December 2011
So, let me elaborate in a round about way what got my juices flowing this week. We all ended up talking about.......stuff, and until then, it had never really crossed my mind to contemplate sexual fantasies and where they may stem from, but it is now something I am sure I will muse on when stuck indoors on a dark winter evening.
So, where do our fantasies and desires come from? Are they plucked from pure fancy or do they stem from past issues and experiences? Is it possible that someone who was domineered as a child will get their rocks off from being a dominator in the bedroom? Would someone who has had to be the boss in life want to be the submissive servant in sex? Would your hard-nosed friend/workmate/boss get off on being spanked, being told they have been a very naughty girl whilst having orders barked at them to get undressed right away. Does your quiet sweet little mate dream of putting on the fishnets, grabbing that whip, handcuffing some poor unfortunate soul to the bed and letting him know who really is in charge around here. That man that gives his seat up on the bus, hands over his spare change to the homeless person and smiles shyly at you in the street could very well fantasise about blindfolding you, then using the spanking paddle and gag. It can kind of make you think, hey?
In previous generations sex was a taboo subject that didn't get openly discussed, but in this day and age it is often the topic of lots of drunken and sober conversations. I personally think this is a good thing, as I am sure many a person has wandered if they are normal or not when it comes to preferences of the sexual kind (I know I have). Media, fashion and music also seems to reflect our open minded approach to experimental sex and fantasies these days, S&M by Rihanna comes to mind, as well as pvc, studded boots and fishnet tights. Sex And The City is a loved TV series and film which many women will know off by heart. It is pretty commonplace to have been to an Ann Summers party now, and let's be honest here, most women have a little something special hidden in the bedside drawer! It no longer seems to matter how many sexual partners you may have had, nor is it just the stuff of dodgy men in trench coats, it is open and out there for us to see and talk about, and there is no shame in it either. So next time you are out shopping and you stumble across an Ann Summers or a sex shop, be brave, go inside, take a look. You may find me in there, or worst case senario, your boss or shy little mate.
Sunday, 4 December 2011
I often ask myself this question. It's funny really, because there are times when a woman just cannot wait. I am sure you know what I mean. We watch the clock for the end of the working day to come so we can go home and pour ourselves a nice glass of wine. We camp by the letterbox for the E-Bay delivery to arrive that was ordered, like, ten minutes ago. We count down the hours until the time comes to meet those friends for a well earned catch up. We get impatient in the queue when we decide we fancy a tub of Ben&Jerrys and want it NOW! We start a diet but the scales tell us, two hours later, that we haven't lost a single ounce. It's times like these that makes us realise waiting is not a fun passtime, and when we don't want to wait, why does time seem to get much much slower?
But then there are the things we will always wait for. Some of us, myself included, have waited for an age for the decleration of love to come from an ex, or an unsuitable crush that we find ourselves lusing after. We will wait for the perfect item of clothing to come along in our favourite store, or that dream lipstick or miracle moisturiser that will make us look five years younger. We hope and prey that the miracle diet will come along that lets us eat what we want and enables us to shrink at least two dress sizes in the process. We often telepathically try to communicate with our bosses, asking for that long overdue pay rise that is allegedly waiting in the wings. We dream of the perfect job with the perfect pay packet. We cheerfully inspect our nails or read trashy magazines whilst we wait for the friend that takes an age to get ready for a night out. We will definately wait, standing as still as statues, getting cramp in the process, for the nail varnish to dry and the self tan to sink in.
But, we must ask ourselves, what is worth waiting for? Will the dream lipstick, fantastic pair of jeans, miracle moisturiser ever really appear? Will that friend ever be on time? Is that ex or unrequited crush really worth your time and efforts? It's all to easy to let life pass you by as you wait for that perfect moment to crash through your door and bring you the happiness you think it will. I always think it's best to look at what you have now, and evaluate what is important. If you feel that you are entitled to more, then go on out there and ask for it, you deserve it! If you are getting sick of hoping that man will open his eyes, smell the coffee and come a banging on your door, well sod him, it is his loss, and he must have taken leave of his senses or something. And with that friend that is always late, don't wait, it may do them good to realise that you have a limit to how much you can take. Time waits for no woman, and sometimes, I think we need to remember that. Life is too short to wait for perfection that may not even exist. That does not mean I think we should settle for second best, hell no! I think we should live life to the max and appreciate the good stuff we already have. But we should feel free to go out there and get more of what we are entitled to. If some things don't work out, well so be it, something better will come along. One thing I sure as hell will not be doing is wasting time in the waiting line....well unless that miracle moisturiser or fantastic pair of jeans is on the horizon that is, then I might just develop a more patient streak, for about ten minutes, because after that I would no doubt start craving Ben&Jerrys and end up fidgeting in the supermarket express isle whilst hoping my E-Bay order has arrived on my doorstep whilst I had popped out. I am sure you agree with me, yes? But give me ten more minutes though, my nail varnish hasn't quite dried and my self tan hasn't sunk in yet, and I have a cramp!