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Sunday, 24 June 2012

Grow some balls????? Don't make me laugh!

If I've heard someone use the expression "Grow some balls" once, I've heard it a million times. If I got a pound for every single time I heard the phrase "Man up" I would be a rich woman. If I hear someone else sing "Do it like a dude" I think I may combust with laughter. I am going to throw the cat amongst the perverbial pigeons by saying that these statuses need re-writing, that they are quite frankly a load of old tosh.

Now please be reassured that I am not a man hater who fantasises about going on a frantic male murdering spree. I do not bat for the other team. I do not wish that I could live on a female populated island (well, not often) where males are killed at birth, and nor do I hope that my fella will wake up one morning having undergone a sex change operation in his sleep. This post is not another I hate men mega rant and it's not an attack at the other gender, but it is a status that shouts from the rooftops that women are by far the most resiliant sex.

Ok, I hear you ask, What makes you say this? Well, what happens when a woman gets sick? She gets on with it, she marches through the storm. What happens when a man gets sick? He pretty much dies, and stays in bed with a woe-is-me expression on his face. Which sex goes through the monthly pain of the period drama? Who then goes through pregnancy, usually whilst still holding down a job and running a home, and who gives birth at the end of the said pregnancy then is released from hospital the same day and sent home to get on with it? Men? Oh please? We would be extinct if that was the case.
I am not accusing men of being weak useless souls, nor am I questioning their greater physical strength ( I have occasionally got a said male to carry my shopping home after hitting Sainsbury) but I am heartily sick of hearing the above expressions muttered when a woman occasionally lets her emotions get the better of her. Are we often heard telling our woebegone male counterparts that they should grow some breasts or maybe even a vagina? Of course not! And the reason for this? If they did grow some boobs and a lady garden we would never see them. They would spend three weeks in bed playing with themselves endlessly, then the forth week would be spent still in bed groaning from the inevitable period pains that would follow. They could never figure out the art of putting on a bra, and they would never survive five minutes in heels. They would poke out their eyes when applying mascara, and would never dream of getting their eyebrows threaded. So next time you find yourself wanting to shout the expression "Grow some balls" to someone who is a bit flimsy, stop, think and re-phrase it to "Grow a vagina" Because only then it will then hold some truth.

Peace (To men as well as women)

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